Confidence, Self-Doubt & the Rollercoaster of Running a Business
Before I launched my ClubHAUS membership, I felt SO confident. Like out of this world confident about it. I just KNOW it’s going to be successful, that I’ll hit my goal of 10 members, and it’ll be hella impactful.
If you asked me today my answer would be totally different. I’m scared. I’m worried. I feel like a failure. And I’m tired (which might have to do with having a 3 month old and having just moved).
Which of these beliefs is the truth?
The truth is there, plain as day, in my human design. I have an open ego center. Meaning my confidence and self-esteem oscillate from feeling like I can take on the world to WTF am I even doing. And the truth? I am always worthy and I need to trust that I have nothing to prove - to myself or anyone else.
My mantra? I am ALWAYS worthy. I don’t have to prove shit to anyone, including myself.
Is it hard to believe some days? Sure is. Especially as someone who works for themselves and in an unstable environment (unstable meaning freelancing - some months are busier than others).
Make it stand out
WTF is an open center?
If you check out your human design bodygraph, it’ll look something like this.
(This is my chart.)
You’ll see some shapes are colored in while others are white. The colored shapes are “defined” and the white shapes are “open.” Defined shapes, or centers, are where you have consistent energy. Open shapes, or centers, are where your energy is influenced by other people and outside energies.
If you find the triangle with the numbers 21, 51, 26, and 40 - that’s the ego center. You’ll see mine is white. Not only is it white, it doesn’t have any colored lines coming out of it. Meaning it’s not just open, it’s also undefined. AKA I take on A LOT of energy from other people around my own self worth.
So what now?
I check in. This is my check in, honestly. Except this time, instead of doing it privately, I’m going through it with you - in the hope that you relate, investigate, and reset if you too have an open or undefined ego center.
And now that I have a second (the hubby took the dogs and kids for a walk so I have a second to THINK - phew), I’m going to:
Check my calendar. What commitments have I made, what have I promised that no longer feel right for me? What can I shave off of my calendar to give myself space to regain my confidence? Do that
Resist the urge to discount my ClubHaus membership to get people to commit. $350 a month is a steal for weekly course instruction, monthly ask me anythings and monthly expert led workshops.
Take my own damn advice. I’ve only posted about ClubHaus once. ONCE. Most of you probably haven’t even seen it in the chaos that is the news and constant social media content we’re all consuming. Prepare to hear about it AT LEAST 20 more times :)
What about you?
Check your chart to see if you have a defined or undefined/open ego center. If you’re undefined/open like me and the above feels relatable - hit me up in the comments and let me know how this shows up for you!
For my defined ego friends, you are lucky to have consistent energy when it comes to willpower. You’re the kind of person that can move mountains. Tell me, how do you like control? Like to have it? I feel like the answer might be yes. And for you, there should be no shame in that game. You’re here to express your desires and go for them - stopping at nothing. Care to share some of that with me and the other 60ish% of the population to have undefined/open egos?
This is just a teeny bit of how human design can impact you as a business owner, entrepreneur, or living being.
Your design is super multifaceted, so do take all of this with a grain of salt.
For me, human design helps me become more self aware - to help me catch my own triggers to continue to be the most authentic version of myself. Cause y’all it ain’t easy out here in these streets.
If you’re digging this kind of content - this connection between human design and business and life - let me know in the comments or learn more about ClubHaus, where we’ll be learning about your personal human design alongside creating marketing strategies.